In the past generations of women and dating, the goal was working towards marriage. You meet a cute guy at school, locally within your town, or sometimes through a set up and then you got married and started a family. Now here we are in 2023 and rules have changed; for woman dating is no longer about this and it has now become something you choose to do for yourself and if it leads to something bigger then that’s an added bonus.
Women today make up a larger part of the economy as we hold almost 50% of all positions and when it comes to those careers requiring a higher degree, we make up the majority. So, why this plays a significant role in love you might say; women no longer rely on love and marriage for economic freedom and women now have more freedoms to love who they want whether that be a male or female or both. You can be happily single well into your 30s and 40s and be able to have your own home and car as I can say this for myself; now I am newly married, but I waited until I was ready to get into a long term relationship following school and starting my career and it was the best decision of my life to wait until I was in my 30s to get married. As Afro women this is often frowned upon by our men as they see this mentality of “strong” and “independent” as reason for our problems with love, but I look at it as an asset.
In terms of dating, it is not the same today as before as many connections are made online where you get to list your interest, level of education, and job type among other things. The connections you make may be greater because knowing someone’s interest usually outweighs education and career if you have our own because someone’s job does not mean the connection is better; you get to date to see if the match is good for you in all areas of importance instead of whether he/she can take care of you financially. Here in NYC someone can make $100,000+ a year and still be living paycheck to paycheck once you factor in the cost of living and having children if that is the situation.
So, whether you are single or married, what are your views on relationships and why are you in yours? Are you more traditional in your relationships or do you follow the ‘new” rules of love as an ‘independent’?