What comes to mind when you hear the word sisterhood?
In Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary it is defined as “a state of being a sister; a community or society of sisters; or the solidarity of women based on shared conditions, experiences, and concerns.”
If you look at the last definition of shared conditions and experiences, then you kind of see where I’m going today. As women, I feel like there is a shared weight on us with having good basic living skills, having good grades in school, having a good career, being a good spouse, and being a good mother. Take it a little further, we are living in a male dominated world, where there are laws about how we choose to run our bodies regarding birth control and abortion rights. The thing that often falls to the side is looking out for other women and forming a sisterhood; we are the nurturers of the human society and if we fail to nurture ourselves we can’t expect it from the men who rule. What I have noticed over my years of life, is that as women, we are often harder on each other in a negative way.
Having a sisterhood from youth into older age allows one to feel supported because in the end many of us go through similar situations and having someone to talk to can change the levels of stress you feel in your day to day. How many young women have been forced to think about their weight, the color of their skin, the clothes they wear, their sexuality, etc. and many of these conversations are started by men but women have failed to defend each other on a larger scale because we are all beautiful with out differences.
As an adult, we grow up and think all of these issues go away because we are grown and experienced so much more, but I learned the drama as an adult just keep coming. I once had a job where about 2 months in my new job, a new director was brought in and she was a Black women; I was excited to see this and she was very nice and approachable in the beginning, then maybe a little over two months later, she became distant and we had to approach her secretary to deliver our messages. This is not an example of sisterhood; in times where you are trying to be effective on your job, having women who are supportive can help get you through and be happy about coming to work each day without complaint.
Being stressed is a natural part of life but too much of it is no good for the body. When the heaviness of the world is on your shoulders, this can lead to so many medical conditions that can take a toll and sometimes lead to premature death. The top 3 medical conditions that cause death in women are heart disease, cancer, and chronic lower respiratory diseases. Some of the possible causes of these conditions include eating habits, family history, age, obesity, stress, and smoking. Now, I identify as a Black woman, and the top 3 conditions for us are heart disease, cancer, and stroke. With stroke being the only difference here, some of the causes of the condition are stress, uncontrollable high blood pressure, overtreatment of medication, obesity, diabetes, and in all honesty race/ethnicity. As a Black women, our shared history is different from other groups of women and it’s filled with increased levels of trauma that allowed itself to be passed down from generation to generation leading to many of these conditions.
Why do you think, women are harder on other women? Is it competition to be the only one on top. Is it because we don’t trust each other. Is it because we don’t know other women to form a sisterhood with.
I created this blog to create a sisterhood in the virtual world where there are not as many Black bloggers. So, what are some ways you can create a sisterhood in your daily life?
- Find a few friends, family, co-workers, or a group on Meetup.com or other sites to regularly hang out with, whether in person or virtually.
- Support others during the good and bad times without jealousy or disregarding what they discuss.
- Keep each other’s secrets and give the other the grace to share their own story.
- Accept each other’s differences whether personality, lifestyle, or physical.
- Be honest and hold each other accountable for their actions within the group.
- Plan activities or events to attend together without distractions.
- If you’re a female boss/supervisor, be open and honest with your staff but respectfully as being an example goes a long way.
In the end, we have to think about our own self-care, but we live in a world with others, and in order to continue being great as women in society, we must always ask the question, Am I my sister’s keeper? The answer you choose will determine our future in this world.
Below are some great examples of mainstream sisterhood over the years that are not perfect but are supportive.
The Sisterhood of Traveling Pants