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With Boundaries, I’m Setting My Tone in the World

Posted on January 10, 2024January 9, 2024 by Virtual Afro Woman

    The singer and actress Halle Bailey has revealed to the world that she did indeed birth a child, a baby boy name Halo. In the last half of 2023 there was speculation online, but she neither confirmed nor denied her pregnancy. As people, we have a right to sensor what we disclose to others. This brings up the question of boundaries? What are they and how do we set them? In the age of social media, should the world have access to everything going on in your life?  Ultimately, it’s up to you.

    Have you ever searched your own name online and found information that you did not know existed? Almost 15 years ago, I discovered a program at my alma mater used my Facebook profile picture without my knowledge on their website to give highlights of their alumni. This is one of the many reasons why my social media trail has been very small. Whatever you put online will exist forever. I am protective of some things and will never expose everything online. I won’t lie when asked, but I will not voluntarily disclose information I don’t want the world to have.

    Boundaries is how we separate ourselves from others. There are different types of boundaries, so what are they?

  1. Physical: Your body itself and the space within arm’s length is under your personal control. If you decide you only like hugs from those closest to you that’s to be respected. As someone from NYC, I don’t like people walking too close behind, so I turn and give “the look” so they know to keep their space.
  2. Sexual: Just because you are in an intimate relationship does not mean your partner can do anything to you. It’s your choose to be honest and have an open conversation.
  3. Emotional: Sometimes our emotions can get the best of us and revealing them may not be easy. It is your choice to decide who gets to know those feelings whether spouse, family, therapist, etc.
  4. Financial: If you make $20,000 more per year than a family member, you don’t have to let them borrow money every time they ask. It’s your choice.
  5. Workplace: When I’m at work, I am very professional in doing my job drama free and then going home. I will never be disrespectful to someone and I expect the same in return. If it happens there is a respectful way to let the other person know how you felt. Also everyone at work is not your friend and it’s your decision to separate them.
  6. Religious: Whether you believe in a specific faith or don’t believe in one, you have a right to what you believe and can separate this from others and still be friends/family.
  7. Time: I enjoy my career and what I do, but when that clock hits the time to go home I run out the building for my own sanity even if I just need to sit in my car before pulling off.

This is the month of setting intentions, so set your boundaries and don’t feel bad about doing so.

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