It’s been 5 years since I stopped putting major chemicals in my hair. It’s been 4 years since I removed the last of my chemically treated hair. Prior to this time, I spent almost 25 years with chemically treated hair. Before these 25 years, my hair was in its purest state. It was one I remembered as painful to manage. For many years, I said, I could never go back to that, but I did. Having COVID closures forced me into embracing my natural new growth of natural hair. In the end, coming back to my natural hair many years later has been a breeze and that pain I once had no longer existed at the level I remembered. The journey has been beautiful, but I can reflect on fear being the reason why it took so long for me to come back to my natural state of hair.
Our fears keep many of us from doing what we feel is important to who we are. Each day, I continue to work through these fears to become a better version of myself as I continue to navigate this world. The ways in which I do so are…
- Self-Talk: I’m in my head a lot working through my problems. There is never a moment in which I feel confident. I’m constantly redirecting my thoughts in a positive way. There are some brief moments where my fears cause me to judge others’ confidence, and I must rework those thoughts as well. There is space for all of us to navigate this world, and having to fight ourselves can lead us to the right side of greatness.
- Write It Down: Listing the pros and cons associated with the fear can help in overcoming it. A lot of our decisions are made without trying something first. Writing downs the pros and cons gives you opportunity to reflect on the situation before making a rushed decision.
- Research: I have been working on my small business and there is so much to learn. At the end of last year, doing my first holiday market, I took the chance to apply for one that cost a little more than I preferred. When I applied, I didn’t think I would get all the dates I requested, but I did. That’s win number one. That price tag for all those days was a little hefty. I thought about contacting the coordinators to remove some of the days. First, I did research on their social media, to see past pictures of events to see the flow of customers. I did self-talk, and I had conversations with my husband about betting on myself. This was a good fear to overcome, and it was a successful business move. That was win number two all on one fear.
- Social Groups: I can remember a couple years ago; I wanted to meet new people outside of established circles. I thought about it for a while, and then I created an account on Meetup.com. I For a few months I received emails for groups I joined to see what they were doing. But I wouldn’t RSVP out of fear. Finally, a new year came in and I signed up for a Book Club meeting. I enjoyed the first meeting, and I continued to go for 2 years after until the meetup day switched to a day I could not attend. Looking for social support in the areas you seem to fear can help you work through them. There is strength in numbers when surrounded by the right people who keep you on a positive track and help you overcome your fear.
So, fear not for you can go on to do great things. It was 5 years ago that I took a chance with my hair. It was 4 years ago that I did my big chop never having short hair before. Now, last year that I started on my small business journey and it’s going well. There are many more things I have to work through, but fear no more because I will continue to work on them and you can too.